Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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