Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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