Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
