Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
