oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We were destined to go to rehab together
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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