She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
