She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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