Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
