singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why do cheetos always look like penises
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
