My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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