Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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