Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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