I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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