I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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