The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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