Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
