he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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