dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
