Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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