You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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