I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize