Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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