I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize