yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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