i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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