That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
