Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
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He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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