mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
