i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
