i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
