All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think I won the penis lottery.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
