I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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