His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
