Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
