i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
