I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
