We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My vagina is officially offended.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
