Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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