Kiss
Puke
Jerry, you need to find god
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
