Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize