I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
