Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't put those talents on a resume
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize