You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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