I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
