I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
