Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
