you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
