Hey man sorry I got all grabby
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
