I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
