it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
