while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
