remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
