everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
