why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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