I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
These tits shall not be calmed
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
