we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's always time for handjobs
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
