Someone shit on the floor
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
