Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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