My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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