You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize