I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
